(door slams shut)
Marc: $25
Vahan: LOCKED OUT
James: $25
Sorry, Vahan, you have been locked out. It's a five-question showdown between James and Marc coming up.
(main theme to commercial, cheers and applause, fade to commercial (or static))
(Greg appears in front of the static)
Greg: If you saw this on TV, you'd be seeing commercials. However, you paid good money not to sit through commercials, so we're not going to do that. Now, the rules are simple. If you see something you don't like, feel free to walk out of the auditorium and go get some more popcorn or go to the bathroom. If you see something you do like, stick around. It's your money. Now, here's a music video.
(Television Static)
(static)
(Meanwhile, backstage in Greg's dressing room, Greg is on the phone)
Greg: (on phone) Oh, Banner, come on! We're in an energy crisis, for God's sake. (pause) Look, do you want to rejoin the Avengers or not? I'm warning you, I'm not going to be arguing all the time about the rights of some indigenous people in Canada whose name I can't even pronounce. (pause) What do you mean what am I doing in Wakanda? I am just dating the Princess, that's all. (pause) Of course I love her. She's charming, witty, smart as a whip, funny, and in her own way, beautiful. However, I'm looking long term here. Can I put you on speaker? (Greg pushes a button on his phone) Can you hear me now, Bruce?
Bruce Banner [Mark Ruffalo]: (VO, over phone) Yeah.(Greg takes the phone with him to the fountains, where Elton John is with his piano.)
Greg: Bruce, this is Elton John. Elton, this is Bruce Banner.
Elton: Hallo, Bruce.
Bruce: (VO) Wait, Elton John? Are you planning on singing?
Elton: No, I'm just the piano player, darlin'.Greg: OK. (Greg sets the phone up on a stand) This is the part of the movie where I do a number that's probably going to reach the AC charts, because that's where a lot of Disney covers go. Are you ready?
Bruce: (VO) I guess.Greg: Alright then. Hit it!
(suddenly, Elton and a full band start playing. Greg starts dancing around. )
[
"I Just Can't Wait to Be King" (Non-Film Version)
Written by Elton John & Tim Rice
Performed by Greg Palmer (Greg Palmer)]
Greg:
Way behind the water hole
A little down the line
The jungle and the plains and peaks
Are scheduled to be mine
I'm gonna be the ruler
Of most everything around
From the grandest of the mountains
To the humble common ground
My reign will be a super awesome thing
Oh, I just can't wait to be king
(We see a fantasy montage of Greg marrying Shuri, then consuming the Heart-Shaped Herb and being buried in the sand. The song continues in the Ancestral Plane where all of Greg's ancestors are seemingly happy.)
Greg: (VO)
I'm gonna be a noble king
And scrupulously fair
I only need a little time
Perhaps a little hair
I'm gonna be the mane event
Like no king was before
I'm brushing up on looking down
I'm working on my roar
The fauna and the flora gonna swing
Oh, I just can't wait to be king
No one saying do this
No one saying be there
No one saying stop that
No one saying see here
Free to run around all day
I'll be free to do it my way
Hey hey
(After coming up disoriented, Greg gets to work merging the Panther Habit with some of Stark's Iron Man armor. Finally, the creation is complete: the Iron Panther armor. It's not long before Greg suits up by striking the "Wakanda Forever" pose, and facing his first threat: M'Baku. M'Baku is sent packing, and the Wakandans cheer.)
Greg: (VO)
No one saying do this
No one saying be there
No one saying stop that
No one saying see here
Free to run around all day
Free to do it my way
The time has come as someone said
To talk of many things
That may be true
But I would rather stick to talking kings
It's easy to be royal
If you're already pantherine
It isn't just my right
Even my left will be divine
The monarchy is waiting to go zing
Oh, I just can't wait to be king
Oh, I just can't wait to be king
(Repeat until fade)
Bruce: (VO, over phone) Are you finished?Greg: I believe so, yes.
Bruce: (VO, over phone) You, are a monster.Greg: And you're the Hulk. We're pretty much even. Talk to you later, I've got a show to do. Bye. (Greg hangs up) Thanks, Elton and crew.
Elton: You're welcome. However, Greg, there's one thing I did wonder about. Were you being serious about becoming king of Wakanda?Greg: Of course. Shuri's the princess, her brother is dead, and I can't marry the queen, can I? (Unfortunately, Shuri is hearing all of this secretly) It'll be the easiest power grab ever. If I can't be king, maybe we can make it a United States territory or something.