$ALE OF THE CENTURY [NBC]: Episode 5

[Frank]

$10 money card now

F

[asja2002]

[Fanfare]

[palmer7]

And you've got the $10 Money Card!
(audience cheers)


Bob: $30

Frank: $40

James: $25


We add that to your score, and you are now $10 ahead of Bob. (suddenly, there's a disturbance in the building, as several LAPD officers come in)

LAPD Officer: This is the Los Angeles Police. All audience members vacate the building now. Only essential cast and crew are allowed.

Greg: But Officer, everyone's been tested.

LAPD Officer: I don't make the rules, Mayor Garcetti does. You are considered a non-essential business. Here. (he hands me a citation)

Greg: A citation!? Somebody get Jon on the phone, please. (to the officer) Officer, do you know who our attorney is? Jon Van Schaik, Fremantle's official counsel. And you'll be hearing from Alan Braverman, too! (to the audience) I've never been part of a dispersal before.


LAPD Officer: Aww, don't get your panties in a bunch. It's only a misdemeanor.

Greg: (to audience) Would we stage anything like this?


(main theme to commercial, cheers and applause, fade to commercial)

[palmer7]

---

(fade in, main theme closes, canned cheers and applause)

Greg: Well, if you take a look at our studio now... (shot of empty audience area) The audience is gone. I've got a $500 citation and the mayor will be hearing from Disney's chief legal counsel, in addition to Grundy and Fremantle's chief legal counsel. I tell you, we can't get out of California soon enough. We'll have two weeks of regular shows from Orlando, followed by our First Responders tournament, and then our Tournament of Champions week. We will have a Tournament of Champions this year, if only we can find enough people to play in it.

Now, let's get back to this game here in Los Angeles.


Bob: $30

Frank: $40

James: $25


Frank leads by $10 over Bob, the champ isn't far behind at $25. On with the questions.

1. Who did Dwight Eisenhower defeat twice in presidential elections during the 1950s?
2. Lake Tahoe is located in which two US states?
3. What sport is likely to cause pudendal nerve entrapment?
4. Eliot Ness is best known for his fight against organized crime in what city?
5. What is the name of Harry Potter's pet owl?

(buzzcodes and answers, please)

[palmer7]

1. Who did Dwight Eisenhower defeat twice in presidential elections during the 1950s?
(buzzcode: 41)
*Bob buzzes in (34)*
Bob?
Bob: humphery
(buzzer)
Oh no, Adlai Stevenson. Fun fact: His second cousin once removed is McLean Stevenson, from M*A*S*H. His career never recovered, either.


Bob: $25
Frank: $40
James: $25


(the desks are socially distant, but the scores don't have to be)

2. Lake Tahoe is located in which two US states?
(buzzcode: 58)
*Bob buzzes in (45)*
Bob?
Bob: CA NV
California and Nevada are right. (Next time, don't use postal abbreviation.)
(ding)



Bob: $30
Frank: $40
James: $25



3. What sport is likely to cause pudendal nerve entrapment?
(buzzcode: 3)
*James buzzes in (43)*
James?
James: Bicycling
That's right, it's the main nerve of the perineum. The taint. As in, "tain't your..." Well, you know.
(ding)



Bob: $30
Frank: $40
James: $30



4. Eliot Ness is best known for his fight against organized crime in what city?
(buzzcode: 58)
*Bob buzzes in (60)*
Bob?
Bob: chicago
That's exactly right.
(ding)



Bob: $35
Frank: $40
James: $30



5. What is the name of Harry Potter's pet owl?
(buzzcode: 43)
*Bob buzzes in (52)*
Bob?
Bob: hedwig
Right you are.
(ding)



Bob: $40
Frank: $40
James: $30



[INSTANT BARGAIN]

We'll have our Brain Drain coming up, but first, another Instant Bargain. Frank, you're in a tie with Bob and you didn't even do anything! This is what we call a Double $ale, only one of you can have it. Buzz in when you hear the low price, and this will be yours!

[palmer7]

(Steve reads the copy, will edit later)

Steve: (VO) $ale of the Century presents....

THE
FIFTEEN THOUSAND DOLLAR
TABLE

The fifteen thousand dollar table!

(Liz models it)

This grand, expandable, mahogany oval dining table is made in the French Louis XVI taste. It features remarkable craftsmanship with radiant mahogany and decadent bronze and brass mounted embellishments. The oval table has two 20 inch leaves and measures 64 inches closed and 104 inches when fully open with a 5th support leg so the table does not sag or sit improperly. The frieze is decorated with carved rosettes on each leg and bronze thread inlay around the entire table and leaves. Each leg has a bronze mount and is tapered and fluted ending with bronze sabots. It has excellent joinery and craftsmanship with mechanical slides. The table is midcentury and made in the manner and style of Maison Jansen. It comes from a palatial estate in Beverly Park, CA.

And adorning this table is a fine silver five-piece tea and coffee service with coffee pot, tea pot, lidded sugar bowl and creamer; all octagonal shapes with beaded details. The sugar bowl has twin handles with palmette motifs, while the other pieces have rosewood handles. The tray has canted corners and shaped handles. Imported from Belgium, it was produced around 1900. It was stamped on the tray with the mark "SAUVAGE GAND" 800.

You may purchase these gifts with your certificate from 1stdibs.com. Normally priced at...

They can be yours on $ale of the Century for only...

(canned audience cheers as I walk over to the $15,000 table)

Greg: That's a nice prize we have there, even if you don't drink tea. You see, the joke was that the table was exactly $9,000. So, we were going to do what The Price is Right did and have "The Nine Thousand Dollar Table", and just offer the $9,000 table. But Steve, in his infinite wisdom... (I roll my eyes) decided to include the tea service as well. So.... the two of you share a $10 bid over our champion, James. Make me an offer. What do I hear for this $15,000 table?

[toetypergs]

pass

[palmer7]

Bob is going to pass. I guess that leaves only you, Frank. Bob, get your hand ready, because I'm dropping the price to....






THREE BUCKS!

Going once... going twice....

[toetypergs]

no

[palmer7]

And Frank, what about you?

[palmer7]

Steve: Hey Greg!


Greg: What now, Steve, you already got us in trouble with Vanna last show. This had better be good... 

Steve: I just realized. Grundy just gave me a COVID incentive check. I’d be willing to give it away with the prize on offer. Not going to say how much it is just yet, but know that I left it in the teapot on stage.

(canned audience ooohs) Greg: Really? (I check inside the teapot, then close the lid) Well, have mercy! Shut my mouth and call me John Burgess. There is money in here. There is a check inside this teapot. And I'll let you have Steve's check, the teaset, and the table for three bucks. Going, going.....

[toetypergs]

sold

[Frank]

Sorry I haven't been on but I wasn't going to buy it

[palmer7]

*Bob buzzes in*
(canned audience cheers)

And Bob's going to buy after all! First, we take the money from your score...


Bob: $37
Frank: $40
James: $30


The things we have to do to get Instant Bargains sold around here. I look inside the teapot... (I pull out the check from the teapot and hold it up to the camera) There it is, black and white, "Pay to the order of Steve Anderson $5,020.20". (canned audience cheers and NBC "yeah-whoos")

Steve: Mullin loves a pun.

Greg: What's the pun?

Steve: 2020.

Greg: Oh, the year. That applause is vintage, 1985.

Steve: But The Powers That Be weren’t just going to pay a $20.20 bonus

Greg: Well, Steve, you should know. Now you're not going to get anything. (canned audience laughs) Bob, here's your check. Thank Steve. (I hand Bob the check) You picked up $20,062.20. (I walk back to my lectern) Least we can do is ask Mullin to write you another check, Steve.

[BRAIN DRAIN]

Brain Drain time. Chance for somebody to pick up $25 or less. Looking for a FAMOUS PERSON.


[*****************]
[$25][   ][   ][  ]


For $25: I am a famous artist born in the 15th century and am known for my work as a painter and architect

(New clues in about 8 hours or when I get to it in the morning; just buzz in on the thread and tell me the answer)

[palmer7]


[    *************]
[   ][$15][   ][  ]


For $15: Originally from and living in Italy, I am known for a wide variety of works. Despite dying at a what would be considered a young age, I am considered to be in the Trinity of Grand Masters of the High Renaissance.

(New clues in about four hours)