(1992 Jeopardy! theme, 1996 edit) Johnny Gilbert: (VO) From the Sony Pictures Studios, this is Celebrity Jeopardy!(The
Celebrity Jeopardy! logo zooms forward to reveal the "sushi bar" set used from 1996-2002.)
(Our celebrity contestants enter from stage right and stop at their lecterns.)
Now entering the studio are today's celebrity contestants.
She's an actress and singer best known for her role as Fallon Carrington on the hit series Dynasty. Elizabeth Gillies.[ELIZABETH GILLIES]
(cheers and applause)
Star of stage, screen, and film, she's best known for her Golden Globe-winning performance in Hysterical Blindness. Uma Thurman.[UMA THURMAN]
(cheers and applause)
And, a seven-time Emmy Award-winning game show host and the national treasure of two countries, Alex Trebek.[ALEX TREBEK]
(cheers and applause)
And now, here is the host of Jeopardy!, Greg Palmer!(Greg enters through a pair of sliding glass doors with the logo printed on them, to cheers and applause; he walks down the stairs and approaches the camera)
Greg: Thank you. Thank you, Johnny Gilbert. Welcome to a very special edition of
Jeopardy!. No, you're not seeing things. Alex is indeed over there, playing his own game.
Alex: I have a feeling this will be an exercise in humility.Greg: Indeed it will. Uma, Elizabeth, good having you here as well. Let's load in the board and put you all in
Jeopardy!.
(the board fills in)
[CJ!] [CJ!] [CJ!] [CJ!] [CJ!] [CJ!]
------------------------------------
[$200][$200][$200][$200][$200][$200]
[$400][$400][$400][$400][$400][$400]
[$600][$600][$600][$600][$600][$600]
[$800][$800][$800][$800][$800][$800]
[$1000][$1000][$1000][$1000][$1000][$1000]
Greg: There's one Daily Double hidden in one of these categories.
[THINGS YOU DON'T DISCUSS AT PARTIES]
Things You Don't Discuss At Parties. Hmm, they'll be discussed today. That's followed by...
[SEX]
Sex.
[RELIGION]
Religion.
[POLITICS]
And Politics. Exactly. After that,
[YOUR MAMA DON'T DANCE...]
Your Mama Don't Dance.
[YOUR DADDY DON'T "ROCK" AND "ROLL"]
And Your Daddy Don't "Rock" and "Roll". "Rock" and "Roll" are in quotation marks. (I walk to my lectern) We drew numbers to see who would start. I drew a "4", here it is. (Greg holds up a card with the number "4" on it) Isn't that a lovely "4", Johnny?
(shot of Johnny at his booth)
Johnny: I wouldn't know, I've seen a lot of "4"s in my time.Greg: Most of them walking down Hollywood and Vine. Alex, you get to start.
Alex: Let's go with "Sex" for $200.Greg: And the answer is...
(we don't see the clue, because suddenly, Fall Out Boy appears on stage; for all intents and purposes, they are performing live, but the vocals match
the studio version)
Fall Out Boy: (singing)
I can move mountains
I can work a miracle, work a miracle, oh oh oh
I'll keep you like an oath
"May nothing but death do us part..."
(The audience and Johnny start dancing in the aisles, and Greg senses he is losing control of his own show)
[Extended Version for Online/On-Demand]
(more dancing, even Alex, Elizabeth, and Uma are getting into it; Greg and Uma re-enact the dance scene from
Pulp Fiction [well, not exactly, Uma's moves are closer to
Pulp Fiction than Greg's])
Fall Out Boy: (singing)
She wants to dance like Uma Thurman
Bury me 'til I confess
She wants to dance like Uma Thurman
And I can’t get you out of my head
The stench, the stench of summer sex
And CK eternity, oh, hell, yes
Divide me down to the smallest I can be
Put your, put your v-v-venom in me
I can move mountains
I can work a miracle, work a miracle, oh oh oh
I'll keep you like an oath
"May nothing but death do us part..."
(We cut to Greg's bedroom, where the radio is blaring "Uma Thurman" by Fall Out Boy. Greg rips off his sleep mask and rolls over waking up.)
Greg: Ughhhhh... damn it! FRIDAY!
FRIDAY: (VO) Yes, boss? Good morning.Greg: Friday, whose brilliant idea was it to wake me up at 6:30 with Fall Out Boy?
FRIDAY: (VO) You set the alarm for 6:30, I thought you might want something fresh and funky to wake up to. I didn't think AC/DC was your style. (beat)
You look upset.Greg: Yeah, I just had a great dream. I was hosting
Jeopardy! and Alex Trebek was a contestant.
FRIDAY: (VO) It had to be a dream. Greg: Don't I know it?
CUT SCENE WRITTEN BY:
GREG PALMER
CUT SCENE DIRECTED BY:
KEVIN McCARTHY
